"I Go To College, But Not For The Education..."

"...The Government Pays My Tuition. God Bless This Nation."-Toby Turner

Tomorrow is the equivalent of every college student's Christmas. Tomorrow I go from poor college child to semi-wealthy college child. I will no longer have to live on tasteless ramen alone! Now I can afford the lovely breakfasts of McDonald's and the delicious cuisine of the orient (also known as Chinese takeout) . That's right! I'll head to the business office on campus to pick up my FINANCIAL AID REFUND CHECK! It's like God opened up the clouds and decided to bless me with greenbacks! As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again! (Um...I never really went hungry before, but now I get to eat some more! Yes!)

Now I can buy fancy little treats like amuse bouche! I can buy food to amuse my bouche! (That sounds so wrong.) I think I'm going to splurge a little and pick up some nonalcoholic bubbly. Jeeves, go pick up a lovely 2009 bottle of Welsh's best sparkling grape. I'll tip you well when you return.